We have spent the last two weeks living a nightmare. Every morning waking up hoping that it has just been a dream. I still hope to wake up tomorrow morning and find that it’s just been a horrible, horrible nightmare.
My brother-in-law Jarrett was one of the students killed at Virginia Tech two weeks ago. He was my wife’s favorite person in the whole world. Every time she talked about him, and it was often, she would just light up. Not to mention when she was around him she just basked in his presence. To her he was as close to perfect as a person could get. She loved him more than she loved anyone or anything. And now he is gone. A life of so much promise, so much joy, so much love??? cut short with the pull of a trigger of a madman’s gun.
And we are left to go on with life. We are supposed to go back to work and play. We are supposed to have life go back to the way it was. But that can never happen. Life is not the way it was two weeks ago. Two weeks ago everything changed. I know my wife will never be the same. I know that I will never be the same. I know that our marriage will never be the same.
I have no answers or explanations. What I have is hurt and confusion. I don’t even want answers. Any answer that makes this okay or bearable is unacceptable. This is not bearable. This is not okay. This is tragedy.
I live under no illusions that we are the only ones who have lived through tragedy such as this. Many have living through it and many are living through it right now. We just happen to be the most public right now.
It is time for me to make a difference in this world. It is time for us to make a difference in the world. It is time to take every hurt and pain we’ve experienced in life and use them as our motivation to help the hurt, troubled and mad people in this world. To help people understand that violence is not the answer. To be with the hurting. To choose to love instead of retreating into self-pity. It is time for this to happen now!
I am so sorry to hear what you and your wife have experienced. I hope that things get a little easier in the coming weeks.
I won’t pretend that any of us have anything to say to ease your pain. There are no words of comfort or condolence that come close to addressing what you and your family are going through. All I can tell you is that you are in our prayers always and we are here for you for anything, big or small.
It’s truly inspiring that you choose love considering what you are going through. I pray that others will do the same. That will truly glorify God and honor the wonderful person that Jarrett was.
Reading your words here moves me to tears, but I am encouraged as well. I cant wait to see the the beautiful garden that will grow from you and Alicia. I am greatly encouraged by your relentless pursuit of God even through the deepest of pain. It is plain to see to me that God has a deep and meaningful purpose for you and Alicia will on earth.
I am thinking of you, your family, and your brother-in-law. But for the grace of God, my brother could have been in that building, as he was an engineering student.
Your post reminds us that this horrible event isn’t just a segment on the news, but that it happened to real, living human beings who people cared about. Your loss shouldn’t be easily consumable on the evening news, or easily expressed by appealing to a VT flag, or even on a blog post / comment. I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I can tell you that I really felt like the bio you wrote of Jarrett gave me some connection to the person you’ve lost. Again, my deepest sympathies.
hey bud,
missed you wednesday, hope the past few days have been better. We’ll see you when you guys get back.
CJ
Daniel,
I share your pain. On April 16, I lost my niece, Austin Cloyd, at VT. You are so right….life will never again be the same. Not a day has gone by since April 16 that I have not shed a tear, not only for my family’s incredible loss, but for all the other families, like yours. I also share your need to make a difference in this world…to take from this tradegy a new commitment to help others who are in need, to try to make the world a better place. I believe that our pain, combined with God’s grace, can lead us on a journey to make such a difference. Indeed, I will live the rest of my life in that effort. May God give you grace and guidance to do the same.